You can learn and be pleased.Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.My way of joking is to tell the truth. I'm sure you'll like them as well. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?Practice doesn't make perfect. facebook; twitter; googleplus; If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. The links are given in the post. But these short funny quotes about life are really hilarious. Not that last one.It’s okay,” I said soothingly. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.I came from a real tough neighbourhood. I love sharing jokes, funny quotes, and humorous sayings—anything to make people laugh.It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. wakes up with a stinky finger!Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!The only good thing about going bra-less at my age is that it pulls the wrinkles right out of my face.How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? / Funny Quotes / Funny Phrases and Slogans That Will Crack You Up. nsp1190@gmail.com. I wiggle them, ten unstubby waves that say, “And hello to you, Human Host!”I was just teasing,” I say. Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100.
I advised him that wasn’t possible because I couldn’t catch that person and that he made it so much easier for me because he had pulled over.Glad to hear you enjoyed these short funny quotes! “Because one worthless piece of shit deserves another.”The world was out there waiting to be explored—and not just waiting, but wanting to be explored. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. But its ok, they know me here.You should eat a waffle! 100 Funny Sayings, Quotes, and Phrases. Einstein: Yes; But this year the answers are different.When we first got married, we made a pact.